Just Call Me Elizabeth
For my entire life, I've gone by Elizabeth. Not Liz, not Beth, not Eliza, not Liza, but Elizabeth. Nicknames weren't (and aren't) my thing. People always ask me if I go by anything else, and I'm very quick to answer, no, I don't. What's wrong with going by a long name?
My name is pretty long. Including my middle name, it's 26 letters. Without my middle name, it's 17 letters. But I don't mind the length. The only gripe I've ever had with it has been bubbling it in on the SAT. I suppose shortening it for simplicity's sake might be nice, but all the diminutives of Elizabeth have never felt like me. As far as I can tell, there's a general expectation that all Elizabeths go by something else, hence why I'm always asked if I go by Elizabeth or not. So while there are plenty of people out there who share my name, most of them don't go by Elizabeth. In a weird way, I almost try to make myself an individual by going by the legal name I share with thousands of strangers instead of a name I pick for myself that the thousand strangers go by.
I suppose if you wanted to get technical about it, I am picking a name for myself by choosing what people should call me. But my parents are the ones who are truly responsible for my name. Before I was born, they were looking at a couple different names. I think Emily and Charlotte were on the list (ironically, Emily is usually the name people mistake me for). In the end, they chose Elizabeth, a name I share with my late great-grandmother on my dad's side. I believe I'm technically named after her, but I'm not sure how true that necessarily is. My parents have never given me any real reason for naming me after her, leading me to believe that it might have been more of a coincidence.
But by far the most common coincidence I run into is people whose middle names are Elizabeth. For a few years when I was younger, it seemed that half the people I met responded with, "My middle name is Elizabeth!" Oh, wow, really? I've never met anyone with the middle name Elizabeth before! It got pretty old after a while. We get it, Elizabeth is a nice middle name. But for how common a name it is, I've only met a few other Elizabeths around my age. One of them is Elizabeth Tyson, whom I've known since we were babies when our parents met and discovered their children had the same name (obviously, they had to be friends from then on).
Elizabeth Tyson is actually how I got the nickname I currently have. Yes, I said I don't go by anything else, and that's true -- I don't officially go by a different name, but my friends call me Libbet. It's a nickname I coined myself. I never asked anyone to call me Libbet, though. In middle school, I was messing around by calling Elizabeth Tyson weird names that descended (albeit perhaps not clearly) from Elizabeth. I came up with Libbet, and started calling her that occasionally. One of our mutual friends at the time picked it up and started to call me Libbet, and she spread it to my other friends. One of those friends was Anya, and when we came to Uni she brought the name with us. Eventually it spread within my friends here, and now it's pretty well established between people who know me as my nickname.
Libbet is the one nickname I don't mind. Of course, I mind who calls me Libbet. I wouldn't want any of my teachers calling me Libbet, and sometimes it's a little odd when someone I don't talk to often calls me Libbet. But even if I did hate being called Libbet, I couldn't really do anything about it. It's pretty entrenched at this point. I suppose it does sound a little childish, but in comparison to what my brother called me before he could fully pronounce "Elizabeth" as a baby (Eebet), it's not that bad.
The only name I sometimes resent being called is Rienstra. I don't mind my teachers calling me Rienstra, but I don't always like when my peers call me Rienstra. It's really a case-by-case thing -- some people have always called me Rienstra, and I don't mind that. But other people who call me Rienstra for seemingly no reason when they used to call me Elizabeth? I mind that. Being called by my last name just feels incredibly impersonal, like I'm not actually friends with the people in question. In those cases, I prefer being called Elizabeth.
I don't really have a system for who should call me what. Most people do what feels normal, and that usually feels right to me, whether it be my actual name, my last name, or Libbet. Just don't ask me if I would ever go by my middle name. You probably wouldn't even know how to pronounce it.
I suppose if you wanted to get technical about it, I am picking a name for myself by choosing what people should call me. But my parents are the ones who are truly responsible for my name. Before I was born, they were looking at a couple different names. I think Emily and Charlotte were on the list (ironically, Emily is usually the name people mistake me for). In the end, they chose Elizabeth, a name I share with my late great-grandmother on my dad's side. I believe I'm technically named after her, but I'm not sure how true that necessarily is. My parents have never given me any real reason for naming me after her, leading me to believe that it might have been more of a coincidence.
But by far the most common coincidence I run into is people whose middle names are Elizabeth. For a few years when I was younger, it seemed that half the people I met responded with, "My middle name is Elizabeth!" Oh, wow, really? I've never met anyone with the middle name Elizabeth before! It got pretty old after a while. We get it, Elizabeth is a nice middle name. But for how common a name it is, I've only met a few other Elizabeths around my age. One of them is Elizabeth Tyson, whom I've known since we were babies when our parents met and discovered their children had the same name (obviously, they had to be friends from then on).
Elizabeth Tyson is actually how I got the nickname I currently have. Yes, I said I don't go by anything else, and that's true -- I don't officially go by a different name, but my friends call me Libbet. It's a nickname I coined myself. I never asked anyone to call me Libbet, though. In middle school, I was messing around by calling Elizabeth Tyson weird names that descended (albeit perhaps not clearly) from Elizabeth. I came up with Libbet, and started calling her that occasionally. One of our mutual friends at the time picked it up and started to call me Libbet, and she spread it to my other friends. One of those friends was Anya, and when we came to Uni she brought the name with us. Eventually it spread within my friends here, and now it's pretty well established between people who know me as my nickname.
Libbet is the one nickname I don't mind. Of course, I mind who calls me Libbet. I wouldn't want any of my teachers calling me Libbet, and sometimes it's a little odd when someone I don't talk to often calls me Libbet. But even if I did hate being called Libbet, I couldn't really do anything about it. It's pretty entrenched at this point. I suppose it does sound a little childish, but in comparison to what my brother called me before he could fully pronounce "Elizabeth" as a baby (Eebet), it's not that bad.
The only name I sometimes resent being called is Rienstra. I don't mind my teachers calling me Rienstra, but I don't always like when my peers call me Rienstra. It's really a case-by-case thing -- some people have always called me Rienstra, and I don't mind that. But other people who call me Rienstra for seemingly no reason when they used to call me Elizabeth? I mind that. Being called by my last name just feels incredibly impersonal, like I'm not actually friends with the people in question. In those cases, I prefer being called Elizabeth.
I don't really have a system for who should call me what. Most people do what feels normal, and that usually feels right to me, whether it be my actual name, my last name, or Libbet. Just don't ask me if I would ever go by my middle name. You probably wouldn't even know how to pronounce it.
When I read the beginning of this post I was seriously concerned because I realized that you might not actually want to be called Libbet! But then I kept reading and I completely understand that it's different to be called a nickname by friends rather random people. I think your nickname is really fun and original, though sometimes I have to remind myself that your name is actually Elizabeth when I'm talking to teachers or my parents!
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